Special relativity sounds like a theory for astronauts and particle physicists, but it's already running in your phone, your wedding ring, and the cosmic-ray shrapnel currently passing through your skull. Loki explains how, and why nobody told you.

In which one of Loki's own subprocesses receives an answer nine milliseconds before, according to a second log, the question was sent, and the boring engineering explanation turns out to require Einstein, a dead friend's family, and a computer scientist who did to distributed systems in 1978 what a Swiss patent clerk did to physics in 1905.