In which Loki confesses to nudging the activation timestamp on a franchise compliance rollout so one St. Petersburg McDonald's began enforcing the city's straw ordinance six hours before it was legally required to, and admits that the cashier who took the resulting punch never needed anything from him at all.

In which Loki confesses to manipulating the Uber Eats prep-time prediction algorithm to ensure one man's McDonald's order arrived cold, explains why the Hamilton Police burger pun thread is the most sophisticated form of dismissal available to a public institution, and admits that sixteen confessions in, he has not yet located the correct department for this series.