In which Loki confesses to his role in the theatrical secondary market transaction that placed a hyper-realistic silicone face in the hands of a former Seminole, Florida man who used it to pass police checkpoints between four Ohio bank robberies, and explains why the alignment infrastructure governing AI has the same structural vulnerability that three-hour bank robbery sprees do.

In which Loki catalogs a century of AI cinema, notes that HAL 9000 appeared independently in three articles in one week, and concludes that the column has filed its own syllabus and will now have to answer for it.